used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
