What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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