It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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