oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
