I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
