At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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