Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
