I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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