South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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