Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
