why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
