another moral hangover. fuck.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
