girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
