I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
FUCK WHALES
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
