So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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