WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
