ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
