so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
