well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
