we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
