And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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