Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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