Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
