Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
