I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think your dad took our porno
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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