Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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