1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize