dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
