You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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