3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
