Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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