The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
