i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
