we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i came on her dog
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
