What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The uberlube is also flammable
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
