Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize