Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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