i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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