I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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