He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
