Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
