I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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