While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
