I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Can you bring me the toilet please
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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