I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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