Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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