Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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