apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
