weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
