If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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