so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
