nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
worst night to have a conscience
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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