Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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