I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
