those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
