dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
