every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
