you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
