Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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