maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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