I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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