I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My ass is underappreciated
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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